May 2012
“I’ve never been lonely. I’ve been in a room — I’ve felt suicidal. I’ve been depressed. I’ve felt awful — awful beyond all — but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me…or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, loneliness is something I’ve never been bothered with because I’ve always had this terrible itch for solitude. It’s being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel loneliness. I’ll quote Ibsen, “The strongest men are the most alone.” I’ve never thought, “Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and give me a fuck-job, rub my balls, and I’ll feel good.” No, that won’t help. You know the typical crowd, “Wow, it’s Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?” Well, yeah. Because there’s nothing out there. It’s stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I’ve never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn’t want to hide in factories. That’s all. Sorry for all the millions, but I’ve never been lonely. I like myself. I’m the best form of entertainment I have. Let’s drink more wine!”
—- Charles Bukowski (via je-cherche)
when I hear people laughing:
- paranoia: They're laughing at you, all of them. They think you look weird. They think you look awful, like shit. They're laughing at you because you're ugly. They pity you. They're glad they are nothing like you at all, you freak.
Time passed. Things changed.
- society: Everyone's beautiful.
- society: Don't eat though, you don't want to get fat.
- society: You don't eat? Anorexic freak!
- society: You're a size 4? You're supposed to be a size 0!
- society: You're an A cup? What are you, 8?
- society: You're a C cup? That's my mums size.
- society: You had sex?! Slut!
- society: You haven't had sex? Hah, you're frigid!
- society: You don't think you're pretty? Attention seeker!
- society: You think you're pretty? Conceited much?
- society: You believe in gay rights? Homo!
- society: You don't believe in gay rights? Homophobic dickhead!
- society: You're depressed? Attention seeker!
- society: You cut yourself? Still attention seeking!
- society: You can't go on? How much attention do you want?!
- -someone kills themself-
- society: Oh, they were so beautiful! Society sucks!
- guys: uh why do girls care so much about being skinny? it's so annoying
- guys: ew fat chicks
- Tim Burton: so I was thinking of making a movie about-
- Johnny Depp: yes